On December 13, 2014, in Austin, Tx, The Mohawk was filled with spectators eager to witness the final round of the Air Sex Championships, the most prestigious competition in all of sports and entertainment. Regional champions flew in from all over the country – Denver, Richmond, Brooklyn, Washington D.C., New Orleans, Houston, Detroit, Chicago, Oklahoma City, and of course this year’s host city, Austin. While each of these finalists took home the title in their hometowns with authority earlier in the year, it would be no easy task taking home the biggest prize of them all, the Fleshlight Championship Belt.
After a grueling first round, the trio that emerged for the final fuck-off represented New Orleans, Brooklyn, and Washington D.C.. The decisive victor was the lone contestant who had a bit of National Championship experience, Brooklyn’s “Tootnanny.”
“I trained hard this time. I really did. I came up short in Austin two years ago, and there was no way I was leaving empty-handed,” Tootnanny said. “It is an honor to give Brooklyn its first major sports title since 1955.”
This is the first Air Sex National Champion to emerge from the Northeast. Chicago broke the west coast streak in season 5 with “Cuntastrophe.” Previous winners were Shanghai Slammer (Los Angeles, season 1), Southern Fried Sex (San Francisco, season 2), TyTy Sparklepants (Eugene, season 3), and Sweet Child (Los Angeles, season 4).
Check out his first round performance: