Last night at the Alamo Drafthouse, millions of people witnessed the most dominating performance Air Sex has seen in a long time. Not since Classic C in Portland has a competitor taken the crown with such ease. Not to take away from the quality performances we saw on Wednesday – it’s just that Simon the Duck Fucker came to win. His performance is a good how-to lesson for you future competitors. The costume was there and a light prop (some bread) was used to fill out the character. The music was original and incorporated duck noises -the very same animal that Simon the Duck Fucker was fucking. The passion on Simon’s face is probably still sticking in the minds of everyone in the Arena that night.
On any other night the rest of the competitors could have also dominated. Gyrant was a strange tag team of unlikely sexual heroes and Lipstick Lez’s wardrobe malfunction didn’t hurt. Secret Admirer is molding himself into a strong performer (we expect great things from him in the Finals) and Cum Dumping gets the award for best name of the night.
3. Lipstick Lez
1. Simon the Duck Fucker