Air Sex World Championships

As we’ve said in several podcasts and on stage already, it’s hard to surprise us. At this point we’ve seen almost everything and in Chicago we saw our first double tie-breaking Sex-off. When the judges were split between Von Qui Qui’s acrobatic maneuvers and Pair of Jugs’ jugs they decided to have a Sex-off and leave it to the audience. The desire to be in the final round of the competition was evident on their faces. The sexual tension hung thick in the air. And after one minute of performing one-on-one, the audience was at a stand still. We had to do it again and this time around, Pair of Jugs advanced. It wasn’t enough to take the title, though, because Crunchy McLean had a huge fan base in attendance and dominated the finals with a sneaky necrophilia act that caused the judges to cringe and the crowd to chant!

A night that featured very nice performances that were both comedic and sexual never lost any steam. Every competitor showed serious signs of promise or was a top contender for the night’s title. Toronto was especially good at remembering the most important aspect of a good Air Sex show, good tongue-waggling hip-thrusting sweaty sex. Combine some real-life moves with a little something weird and you’re golden. Toronto also showed they understand safe sex, as many competitors in tonight’s show used air protection.

The finalists featured Travis, a completely absurd robot-sausage act, Bangtown, a fine tuned fucking machine, and Sheila Shamu, an innocent broom fetishist. The judges had a significantly difficult time narrowing down their choices to three.

After a wet final round Bangtown and Sheila Shamu were in a dead heat for the final sex-off. Bangtown’s clever use of piling dicks on top of dicks and shoving them all in his mouth like an elephant gobbling peanuts, however, made him a clear winner over Sheila’s double-shoe routine. In another Air Sex first, Bangtown revealed his parents were in the audience. Our bets are that Dad was proud and Mom was frightened.