Tootnanny is your 2014 Air Sex Champion!

On December 13, 2014, in Austin, Tx, The Mohawk was filled with spectators eager to witness the final round of the Air Sex Championships, the most prestigious competition in all of sports and entertainment. Regional champions flew in from all over the country – Denver, Richmond, Brooklyn, Washington D.C., New Orleans, Houston, Detroit, Chicago, Oklahoma City, and of course this year’s host city, Austin. While each of these finalists took home the title in their hometowns with authority earlier in the year, it would be no easy task taking home the biggest prize of them all, the Fleshlight Championship Belt.

After a grueling first round, the trio that emerged for the final fuck-off represented New Orleans, Brooklyn, and Washington D.C.. The decisive victor was the lone contestant who had a bit of National Championship experience, Brooklyn’s “Tootnanny.”

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“I trained hard this time. I really did. I came up short in Austin two years ago, and there was no way I was leaving empty-handed,” Tootnanny said. “It is an honor to give Brooklyn its first major sports title since 1955.”

This is the first Air Sex National Champion to emerge from the Northeast. Chicago broke the west coast streak in season 5 with “Cuntastrophe.” Previous winners were Shanghai Slammer (Los Angeles, season 1), Southern Fried Sex (San Francisco, season 2), TyTy Sparklepants (Eugene, season 3), and Sweet Child (Los Angeles, season 4).

Check out his first round performance:

Special thanks to our 2014 tour sponsors, Fleshlight, makers of fine sexual apparatuses and the 2014 Air Sex Championship belt. And thanks to our 2014 Finals sponsors Dreamers & Forbidden Fruit!

Four Finalists To Watch Out For

On Saturday, it all goes down. Or, some will go down; others will eat poop, or get whippings, or do weird stuff with food. Really, we should say that on Saturday the best of the best of the world of invisible sex comedy is coming to Austin, TX, and when all is said and done, someone is walking away with the Air Sex World Championship Belt.

As you prepare yourself for Saturday’s show at the Mohawk in Austin, you might want to know what you’re in for. Competitors will fly in from all over the country to compete for the title, and they’re out for blood. Here are four finalists to be ready for; and this is just the tip. (Of the iceberg. Or of whatever, really.)

 

Stage Name: Jimmy Death Nuts (aka MegaThong & #JamesFromWRIF)

Known For: Wearing a patriotic man thong in public, at family gatherings and other inappropriate places.

Why Should You Win The Championship Belt?: The AirSexuals need a champion that has the moves like Jagger, the pizzazz of Freddy Mercury, and the sexual aptitude of a Taiwanese prostitute living near a Navy port of call… I have none of these things, but to become the AirSex Champion would really help me prove to my parents that I’m NOT A LOSER and finally move out of their basement.

Song You Wish Someone’d Air Sex To: “Apache” by Sugar Hill Gang

Personal Hero: Chuck Norris

 

Stage Name: Wonton Soup

Known For: My soup dumplings

Why Should You Win The Championship Belt? I think it might help me have real sex one day.

Song You Wish Someone’d Air Sex To: Iko Iko by Aaron Carter

Personal Hero: If I told you it wouldn’t be personal.

 

Stage Name: Mighty Joe Hung

Why Should You Win the Championship Belt?: I have the hometown crowd this Saturday night! Everyone loves seeing “their guy” win. Let’s keep Austin weird by keeping the Air Sex Championship in Austin!

Song You Wish Someone’d Air Sex To: AC/DC – Big Balls

Personal Hero: Chuck Norris

 

Stage Name: Sticky Starspunk

Known For: Bravely exploring nether regions where no man has gone before.

Why Should You Win The Championship Belt?: So I can attract a mate and repopulate the planet.

Song You Wish Someone’d Air Sex To: The Climb (Miley Cyrus)

Personal Hero: The genius who left the Crunchberry machine on overnight at the Capn’ Crunch plant.

 

 

2014 Air Sex Finalists Announced!

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Oh shit, everybody! Look what’s almost here! And look at this list of all the 2014 Air Sex Championships Finalists:

  • Wonton Soup (Denver)
  • Gulliver (Richmond)
  • Gregory (Chicago)
  • Tootnanny (NYC)
  • God Bless My Pussy (Washington DC)
  • Juicy Jesse (OKC)
  • Mighty Joe Hung (Austin)
  • Ned Gayle (Houston)
  • Rod (New Orleans)
  • Jimmy Death Nuts (Detroit)

Congrats to all of the above, and be sure to cheer on your favorite city or competitor at the 2014 Finals in all their glory on December 13 in Austin, TX!

5 Lessons From The Road

We just completed a 22-city national tour, driving coast to coast, bringing the world’s foremost art form to venues nationwide. Our very unique comedy show, which has also become one of the most empowering and sex-positive live shows in America, has given people the opportunity to explore their deepest fantasies on stage — without taking off any of their clothes.

As we watched participants make love to nothing at all night after night, we took notes of the biggest successes and greatest pitfalls of Air Sex aficionados nationwide. As you practice for the next world championship tour, take note of these five lessons from the road.

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1. Come One, Come All.

It’s amazing how many people get down and dirty on the stage, doing unmentionable things that aren’t appropriate for the Internet (we’ve seen stuff that makes “2 Girls 1 Cup” look like church), but don’t remember to come! Faking the big O will earn you major points with the judges — and not just because everyone loves Meg Ryan. Good sex is all about pleasure. One way to make us KNOW you’re having a good time is to go over the top of that roller coaster, full speed ahead.

2. Ask Permission.

We know they told you this in college, but consent is sexy. There’s no way to shut down an audience or a judging panel faster than to imply that you’re doing anything against anyone’s will. So go ahead and poop on his chest and then tie him up in a corner — just make sure you ask first. (A simple nod or consenting eye contact is enough.)

3. Jackhammering Is For Construction Workers.

We can’t count the number of times that dudes got up on stage thinking that fucking violently like they were going into convulsive shock while death metal played in the background would secure them a spot in the finals. Did they think we would be amazed or impressed? Look. Vaginas and buttholes need a little lubricant to withstand that kind of friction, so foreplay is important. IRL, ladies aren’t always so keen on being fucked like they’re a mystery coin box in Super Mario. Let even your most aggressive lovemaking allow room for some seduction.

4. Don’t Finish Too Soon.

Oh, you think it’d be funny if you did a routine in five seconds, and the punchline is that you came too fast? Cool idea. If you were performing for a room full of seventh grade boys, we’re sure you’d kill. But that would also be illegal. It’s imaginary sex-land! You can do whatever you want! Don’t pick the blandest, oldest joke in the book. That’s the equivalent of going out for ice cream and ordering a glass of water.

5. Dancing Is Great, But It Rarely Has Anything To Do With Sex.

So many people get on stage, hear their song start, and think, “TIME TO DANCE.” We want to know: how many of you are starting your actual lovemaking sessions this way? You bring him home, put him in the bed, and say, “For the majority of this sex time, I’m going to dance around you kind of seductively?” Basically all you’re telling us when you do that is that you’ve seen a movie in which a girl is a stripper, such as “Coyote Ugly.” Do you know what’s REALLY sexy? Having sex. Don’t be shy: have invisible sex. That’s what this show is all about. If we wanted to see dancing, we’d have turned on ABC on a Monday night to see what Mario Lopez was up to. We want to see professional sportsmanship. We want to see Air Sex. Get on it, or go home.

Air Sex Merch invades the internet!

 

 

 

 

On the heels of our 22-city, month-long 2014 Air Sex World Championships Tour, we are proud to present our first Limited Edition batch of Air Sex merch! We’ve got 3 beautiful kinds of t-shirts for you to purchase and wear and love, shipped right to your face or crotch (whichever you prefer). Just check out OUR MERCH PAGE and get your shirt before they get snatched up by somebody else’s filthy fingers!

Thanks for your support and be on the lookout for some really fantastic news from Air Sex very shortly.

Air Sex 2014 Shirts

 

 

TOUR DATES – Season 6

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We are coming to you. Pun absolutely intended.

Friday August 1: Houston, Tx: Fitzgeralds

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Saturday August 2: Austin, Tx: Alamo Ritz: 10 p.m.

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Monday August 4: Tucson: Club Congress

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Tuesday Aug. 5: Phoenix, Az: FilmBar

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Wednesday August 6: San Diego, Ca: The Hideout

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Thursday August 7
: Los Angeles, Ca: 
The Satellite

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Friday August 8: Oakland, Ca: The Uptown Nightclub

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Saturday August 9: Portland, Or: Hawthorne Theater

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Sunday August 10: Seattle, Wa: El Corazon

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Wednesday Aug. 13: Denver, Co: 3 Kings

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Thursday August 14: Omaha, Ne: The Slow Down

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Saturday August 16: OKC: The Opolis

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Sunday August 17: Kansas City, Mo: The Chesterfield

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Wednesday August 20: Minneapolis: The Nomad

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Thursday August 21: Milwaukee: Stonefly Brewery

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Friday August 22: Chicago, Il: Abbey Pub

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Saturday August 23: Detroit, Mi: The Loving Touch

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Monday August 25: Pittsburgh, Pa: Rex Theater

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Wednesday August 27: Washington, DC: Rock And Roll Hotel

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Thursday August 28: New York, Ny : DROM

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Friday August 29: Philadelphia: North Star Bar

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Saturday August 30: Richmond, Va: Strange Matter

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The stage is set for the National Championships!

On Saturday December 7th at the House of Blues in New Orleans, winners from Air Sex competitions held all over the country will come together to compete for the most prestigious title in all of sports – the Air Sex Championships.

Cities represented include:
Chicago
San Diego
Los Angeles
New York City
Richmond
New Orleans
& more

We are proud to join the long line of premiere sporting events to be held in the Crescent City including the Superbowl, Wrestlemania, the NBA All-Star Game, BCS Championships, Sugar Bowl, New Orleans Bowl, NCAA Final Four, the Arena Bowl and now, the granddaddy of them all, the Air Sex National Championships.

Tickets available here!

Our host appears on America’s Got Talent

Earlier this week our host Chris Trew was on America’s Got Talent. He did not advance to Vegas. This is what happened:

http://youtu.be/eZgTelJzAl8

This is what he had to say about it:

Clearly I was robbed and Howard Stern should be ashamed of himself for keeping me out of Las Vegas. I will get my revenge and prove to the world that the Air Sex Championships is a legit sport. I am not mad at Sharon Osbourne, she is a weird Canadian with shitty taste. Howie Mandel was nice to me. Howard Stern screwed me.

E! Online wrote this post that was pretty informative but it did NOT mention how I got screwed out of a chance to win America’s Got Talent. This article is all about the MONSTER NIGHT AT THE RATINGS for the show…hmmm, a coincidence? I got screwed. These people hate me and these people hate me too. I hate being screwed. The Austinist was nice to me as was Uproxx. It weakens the sting but the bottom line is I was robbed.

The full post is here (including more video).

East Coast Tour Dates!

Air Sex Nation!

Our tour dates for this Summer are locked and loaded! Check the list on the left to see if we’re coming to your city. Or if we’re coming close enough to your city for a quick drive on over. Or if we’re so far away from your city that all you can is use your imagination. J(ust check the damn date)

Air Sex Season 2 National Championships – February 26th

Last year the Shanghai Slammer came from Los Angeles and edged Toronto to earn the title of Season 1 National Champion. His place in the history books is set. Our grandchildren will be talking about his masterful execution of the sport. He got his.

On Saturday February 26th, however, the Slammer will have to make room for Champion #2 as winners from San Francisco, New Orleans, Portland, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Austin, New York City, San Antonio and Atlanta descend on The Highball for a night of pretend sexing like no other. The desire to be remembered until the end of time burns bright in each of these competitors but alas, there can only be one. Tickets should be gobbled up immediately.

Big Dick Door Guy is the East Coast Champion

In a beautiful display of professionalism and sweat, Big Dick Door Guy (Philadelphia Champion) outlasted Dirty D (Brooklyn Champion) by a hair to claim the East Coast Championship crown. Both gentlemen will fly to Austin, Tx to take part in the Season 2 National Championship on February 26th.

Marty Beckerman was there and penned this fantastic article of the evening. Anthony Nicaj is the man behind the photo!

East Coast Regionals: January 14th in New York City

The stage is set for a warm and tingly climax to the 2nd Air Sex Championships Season. The final piece of the puzzle is adding more stiff competition from the East Coast. The Air Sex East Coast Regionals pit the best performers from D.C., New Haven, Philadelphia, Boston, New York City and Providence against each other for the right to travel to Austin,Tx – home of the final round of the 2nd Annual Air Sex World Championships.

Tickets and venue information right here!

A New Champ in San Francisco!

For the second year in a row our show in San Francisco was full of costumes, energy and raw passion for making sweet love to nothing at all. Creme BruLaid was our only repeat performer from 2009 and he earned a spot in the finals with a strangely seductive Bjork-ish routine. The rest of the show was filled with (air) virgins who showed an insane amount of potential. Early audience favorite Magnolia Gold was edged by Cockalicious in the end. Both have very bright futures in the world’s most important sporting competition!

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The First Santa Fe Air Sex Champion is Crowned!

He’s a local celebrity, he’s a DJ, he’s the first ever Santa Fe Air Sex Champion. Sir Loin (one of our favorite names of all time) gave the crowd a feel-good come from behind victory last night after defeating Mike Cock in a Fuck-Off and then demolishing Jism the Clown and Cheesedog in the finals.

Other highlights included the Absinthe Queen disappearing under the judges table and doing who knows what and a scary heavy-metal routine that was 90% scary and 10% sexy.

We Pop Tempe's Cherry

We’ve always said that the best Air Sex show consists of the following things: some good fantasy/comedy scenes, at least one train wreck and some actual sex appeal. Tempe, you did not disappoint. In addition to a delightful weirdo named Space Panda (quite possibly an actual Panda from actual Space), you gave us a Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka type launch from a chair into a woman’s lower regions and you gave us a more-than-solid winning performance from “Cuntastrophe”, who earned the crowd, the crown and a pack of cigarettes.

We tour the country crowning champions at making love to imaginary partners.